Working Solo, Staying Strong: Why Mental Health Has to Be Part of the VA Conversation

Let’s talk about the thing no one ever wants to talk about… mental health, burnout and workplace bullying.

For too long, we’ve danced around these issues, offering token support and glossy “self-care tips” while pretending the problem doesn’t run deeper. It’s safer that way, isn’t it? Stick to the palatable stuff, keep it light and fluffy, and avoid the uncomfortable truths.

But the reality is that our industry is full of people who are carrying wounds from toxic workplaces, bullying, burnout, and trauma. I know because I’m one of them… and I know because I speak with hundreds of individuals getting into our industry who share similar stories, many whispered quietly, almost apologetically, as if their pain is something to be ashamed of.

It’s time we stopped whispering.

Years ago, I experienced workplace bullying that left me questioning everything I thought I knew about myself. My value, my confidence, my ability to show up and contribute — all stripped away piece by piece until I reached a very dark place. A place where the thought of “ending it” crept in more often than I care to admit.

I survived, but I came away changed.

And since then, I’ve learned that my story is not unique. In fact, it’s disturbingly common in our industry. So many individuals in our industry begin their VA business because they’re seeking a better way to live and work, more flexibility, more control, less toxicity. But what we don’t acknowledge enough is that we bring our scars with us.

If we don’t face them, if we don’t actively put strategies in place to protect our mental health, we risk creating businesses that burn us out in exactly the same way as the workplaces we walked away from.

While working solo in your own business can be empowering, the truth is that it can also be lonely. There’s no HR department checking in on you, no morning tea with your team, no one to debrief with after a hard client meeting.

You are the HR department.

You are the leadership team.

You are the mental health policy.

That freedom comes with responsibility, and part of that responsibility is recognising when you’re heading for burnout and having the courage to do something about it.

I wish I could say there was a safety net out there for business owners, but the reality is that when you work for yourself, there’s no one coming to rescue you. So we MUST learn how to build our own safety nets, and in doing so, we have to know who we can trust to hold them with us.

This is the bit where I’m going to throw down the ‘virtual gauntlet’ and challenge our industry as a whole, and the reason is simple… Yes, we love a good hashtag on R U OK? Day. We love the idea of mental health awareness campaigns and “raising conversations”… but conversations aren’t enough if they stop at the surface.

Simply asking someone “Are you okay?” doesn’t mean anything if we’re not prepared to actually listen to the answer, to hold the space, and point them towards real support if they need it.

Over the many years I’ve been in business, I’ve seen too many colleagues suffering in silence, thinking they need to push through because they chose this path, and believing that this newfound independence is supposed to mean we can “handle it all”. But let me say this clearly: being in business for yourself does not mean being in business by yourself!!

One of the most powerful things you can do to protect your mental health as a solopreneur is to build what I call your “pit crew”…  a group of like-minded people who absolutely ‘get’ you. They are those individuals who understand the pressure of juggling clients, the uncertainty of inconsistent income, and the loneliness that can creep in when you spend your days working from home... because they’re doing it too.

Your pit crew can be found in places like Virtual Momentum (VA Institute’s membership group), where you connect with other VAs who are on the same journey. It can happen at events like our amazing VA Summit, where you get to meet peers in person and realise you’re not doing this alone after all.

Your pit crew are the people who celebrate your wins, hold you accountable to your boundaries, and gently remind you to step back when you’re heading for burnout. If you don’t have a pit crew yet, make finding one your top priority. I promise that you will not regret it.

As business owners, we have to take responsibility for our own mental health. That doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine when it isn’t. It means being honest with ourselves about where we’re at and reaching out when we need help. It means knowing where to find trusted, qualified support, whether that’s your family GP, a counsellor, or professional organisations like Beyond Blue, Lifeline, or the Black Dog Institute.

And it also means creating a business that works for us, not against us. To achieve that outcome is a journey… but it involves being diligent with things like setting boundaries around your time, choosing clients who respect your value, building non-negotiable breathing space into your week, and making it a priority to connect with other VAs who can remind you you’re not alone when it feels like you are.

This isn’t about R U OK? Day… although that’s an important reminder. This is about changing the culture of our industry.

It’s about having real conversations, not surface-level slogans.

It’s about calling out toxic client behaviour instead of tolerating it.

It’s about setting boundaries and protecting our energy.

And, it’s about showing up for each other, consistently, not just once a year.

Your mental health is not up for negotiation, and neither is ours as an industry.

We need to stop pretending that “awareness” is enough, because… honestly… I see so much ‘lip service” out there, and the truth is that awareness without action doesn’t change anything!

So, ask the question, have the conversation, but back it up with care, connection, and real, practical support.